"What's the matter, Ash?" Misty asked.

"Nothing," I said. "I'm happy to be back, really." Really.

"Not that," she said, fidgeting. "I mean... why don't you laugh anymore?"

"What? I laugh. I laughed at Pikachu's joke the other day; I laughed when you hit Gary--"

"That's not what I meant," she said coldly. "You..." She looked sad, and for a split second she reminded me of-- I quickly banished any thoughts of my dreams.

"You never talk about how you're going to be the world's greatest pokemon master--"

"That's because I was." What was she talking about?

"That's not the point, Ash! You... you're sad all the time. Even when you're not, you're still sad. You used to be so..."

"Ignorant," I said flatly. "What are you getting at?" I said with a little more of an edge than I meant to.

Misty pounced. "That! You mope around all the time, everything is impossible, nothing means anything to you anymore--"

"That's not true--"

"Well, you act like it!" She paused, probably looking for more sharp words to throw at me. "You're such a poor boy, you pity yourself so much, and every time we ask you why you do this you just ignore us."

I started to come back. I started to say something in return. But... something inside me told me she was right.

I think she could tell I wasn't going to say anything, so she kept going. "So I'm asking you now, Ash Ketchum," she said, in her best angry-mom voice I had ever heard come out of her, "What is the matter?"

I wanted to say "Nothing" and have it over with... but I could sense a sea of emotions coming from her... Somehow I knew if I said that...

I still don't know where I found the courage to say what I said. But I said it.

"Do you remember, a year ago?" I said softly. "When we went journeying before the league tournament?"

She nodded. She opened her mouth, but closed it. I was fine with that; I didn't need to be interrupted.

"Those dreams I was having... they weren't really dreams. They're-- They're what Mews call 'seeings.' They were memories of mine-- no, not mine; it was a different timeline, a parallel universe... I evolved there. Completely evolved. And..."

I started to shake. I could see it now...

"There was power... immense power... I resurrected Pokemopolis and brought everyone from Pallet there... Gary didn't want to follow orders, and--"

I killed him.

"I put everyone under mind control. I told them what to think. What to do... so there wouldn't be pain. But... Lugia didn't listen, the birds didn't listen, Mewtwo didn't lis--"

"Who's Mewtwo?" she asked.

I kicked myself mentally. How could I... "He was a friend of mine in that time period."

She nodded slowly. "Did I listen?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and hung my head, tears coming, my breathing quickening... but I didn't cry.

"Chu pika, Pikapi?"
And me, Ash?

I'd forgotten about Pikachu. About how I had sent him to die a death... alone... with no one to comfort him...

A sob broke through. And then another. Why did they have to remind me of this? Couldn't they just--

I didn't notice that Misty had moved next to me. I didn't notice the tears in her eyes. And when she put her arms around me, my first instinct was to shove her off. But she just held me tighter.

"Did this really happen?" she whispered.

Did it? Was it another timeline? Was it an alternate future? Another universe? This future? "I don't know," I said honestly.

She kept holding me. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Why didn't I? I didn't want her... to know? "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Ash," she said softly, "I don't care. If you're hurting, I want to help you. If you're sick, I want to care for you. I don't want you to go through this alone. No one should have to."

I tried to breathe slowly, trying to slow my heart after hearing what she just said...

I couldn't think of anything to say... so I just didn't. Eventually she got up and went back downstairs.

---

That night I had a dream. A good one.

I'm not completely sure what happened. I think there was another Mew there... one that wasn't in any of my Seeings. He didn't look very old, but he had a very large scar... whatever gave him that wound didn't intend for him to live. Maybe he didn't... but he was still there.

There were no words exchanged. I could just feel His energy and the emotions that it carried. It wasn't pity, it was... empathy? But I could also feel a peace...

Somehow, this Mew knew what I had gone through. Somehow it knew that I didn't trust myself. Not my emotions, not my powers...

He wanted me to trust Him instead.

How could I? He would only betray me in the end. Everyone else did. Why couldn't I just die and get it over with? Then everything would be better.

The Mew just pointed to His scar.

I did that to him, didn't I? Or was it the other me? Or was it both of us? And was it angry?

It wasn't angry.

He floated over to me and touched His tail to my forehead.

Looking back, I see what happened. He gave me what I had lost. What disappeared when I started having the dreams. Confidence. Confidence that I could still be the best and not change who I was. Confident that who I was no was no different than what I was before. If evolution is the outside changing to match the inside... then it was there all along.

And there was another feeling there too... a sort of assurance that everything would turn out right in the end. That there would be a happy ending, no matter how much pain and darkness there was along the way. Even if all my seeings came true... it would end all right... somehow.

I wanted to just blow Him off. Promises are cheap, right? But... deep down inside... I knew that I could trust Him.

---

I woke up early. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't seem to. That, and I was hungry. I went downstairs for a snack, or maybe even an early breakfast. For some reason, though, I went outside.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. The clouds were coming in off the sea, their borders lit up in neon pink and orange. A small breeze was blowing the grasses and the flowers in Mom's garden. It was a beautiful scene.

So what?

So what? What kind of question is that?

What's it matter? In the end it's all going to die. The flowers will die. The clouds will bring rain. The sun's going to go down. What's the point?

What is the point...

I looked at the sunrise again. It's there every morning. Even if it's raining, the sun's still there. When the flowers die for the winter, they'll come back in the spring.

So what's the point? It's just going to die again.

And then it'll just come back to life again.

"It's a brand new day, Ash," I said aloud. "What are you going to do with it?"

I remembered the Mew's touch from my dream. He gave me another chance. Another day.

And what's the point?

I don't know, but I do know that it will all go to waste if I keep wondering what the point of it all is.

Ash was dead. But Ashura had been around for too long. Now Ash was alive.

The door opened. Misty walked out, and Pikachu scurried around her and ran into me.

"Pika kachu pika chu chu."
You smell different.

I smiled. "Maybe I just am."

Misty came and stood next to me while Pikachu seated himself on my shoulder. She reached for my hand, and I let her find mine.

She spoke first. "I've always liked the sea this time of day..." she said. "It's so... I don't know..."

"Peaceful?" I said.

She nodded.

"Have you ever felt like you belonged out there?" I said, not entirely sure of the words coming out of my own mouth.

She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Sometimes," she said dreamily.

I had to go.

I glanced back at the house... at Mom... she wouldn't understand, or would she? Would my pokemon? Of course they would, but...

"I have to go," I said quietly.

Misty held my hand tighter. "Why?"

"I have to know... I have to be what I really am."

She dropped my hand. "You mean..." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

I turned and looked her in the eye. "Misty, listen to me," I said, not bothering to hide my emotions. "I don't know when or how, but I'm going to come back, I promise. I don't want to lose you... or Pikachu." I grinned. "After all, I still owe you a bike, don't I?"

I could see the smile tease at her lips, not sure whether or not to believe that I had actually told a joke, to believe that the old Ash was back.

"Katchu pii Pikipi?"
I'm not going with you, Ash?

I lowered my shoulder so Pikachu could slide off. "Yes," I said sadly, unable to look him in the eye. "I have to... finish evolving. I can't stay half a mew forever."

"Pika pikachu pii chu."
I'm still going with you.

But you can't... how can you? "I need you to take care of Misty."

"I can take care of myself," she said simply. "Just make sure you come back." She turned to Pikachu. "Make sure he comes back," she ordered.

"Pika chu."
Yes ma'am.

She turned back to me. "It seems like we just said goodbye..."

I hugged her. "It won't be forever, I promise." I don't know how I managed to pull it off, but I kissed her. Please don't make me go into detail about that; it's private.

And then there was nothing more to be said. I turned towards the sea, towards the sun, and listened. I could hear something calling me... someone...

<Nekiro?> I ventured.

<So you finally decided to listen up,> was the sarcastic reply. <Are you coming?>

I put my fingers on the latch of my everstone. I didn't want to think about it, but now I couldn't stop. Once I took off the stone, that was it. There was no going back. I could transform, make myself look human, but if my seeings were any indication, I wouldn't be able to do that for very long. I would be a mew... forever.

I couldn't do it. I had to, but I couldn't.

I felt Misty pry my hands off. I could feel her pulling the charm, trying to undo the clasp. I could feel her try to say something, come up with nothing, and simply letting the charm fall to the ground.

Heat.

Burning, intolerable heat.

But this time, I embraced the change.

I could feel the energy I had kept inside me surround me. There was light, blinding light, even with my eyes closed. But the light was peaceful this time. I wasn't afraid of what I would become. It was inside me all along.

The light faded and I opened my eyes.

I was at eye level with Pikachu. My tail had grown shorter, but then again, so had I. I looked at myself and determined that I looked, well, like a mew. Like any normal mew.

It wasn't as much of a shock as I thought it would be.

I looked at Misty one last time. I could hear her emotions... she was just as conflicted as I was. For some reason, that was comforting to me.

I told her I'd be back. I didn't use words.

"Mew mew, Ewmew," I said. Now I got to make up a name for Pikachu.
Come on, Pikachu.

"Pi!"
Okay!

Pikachu climbed on my back, and I started hovering. <Where do I go, Neki?>

<Come to New Island; we'll start here,> he said. <And you should know not to call me Neki.>

<Why do you think I did?> I said playfully as I sped over the waters, Pikachu on my back and hanging on for dear life.